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Missed Fists: Jake Smith accuses opponent of mid-match flatulence at Submission Underground 12, more

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Jake Smith (blue) grapples with Gorge Martinez at Submission Underground 12 on March 29, 2020
@ImShannonTho, Twitter

Welcome to the latest edition of Missed Fists where we shine a light on fights from across the globe that may have been overlooked in these hectic times where it seems like there’s an MMA show every other day.

Last week, we had a wonderful collection of K-1 KOs; this week, we’re starting off with some appreciation for the graps as Chael Sonnen was somehow able to find a home for Submission Underground 12.

Craig Jones vs. Kevin Casey
Ben Egli vs. Jake Ellenberger
Matt Stringham vs. Joe Levasseur
Jake Smith vs. Gorge Martinez

AL: My bet on the location? Abandoned missile silo.

JM: I’m going with oil tanker in international waters. Chael has connections.

AL: Yes, that’s right fight fans, the man who never tells a lie, Mr. Chael P. Sonnen put on the 12th edition of Submission Underground (available for replay on UFC Fight Pass) this past Sunday even as his former boss Dana White struggles to land the seemingly doomed UFC 249 rocket.

While the card did lose a couple of names in Carlos Condit and Roxanne Modafferi that would typically draw in filthy jiu-jitsu casuals like myself, there was still plenty of notable talent and, of course, awesome grappling on display.

JM: For those who don’t know, Craig Jones is one of the premier competitors in NoGi BJJ right now so this match was really, always destined to end like this. Good of Kevin Casey to not get sonned with a diving heel hook but that De La Riva transition to snatch the leg was too much for him.

AL: Casey had so many hooks during his time with the UFC. He had a fantastic look, that Gracie BJJ lineage, and he’s the son-in-law of freakin’ Muhammad Ali. He was even on The Ultimate Fighter, though his UFC run wouldn’t really start until 2014 when he was already 33 years old. In his last eight fights (including two Bellator appearances), Casey somehow had two draws and two no-contests in there.

He’s a fascinating cat.

Anyway, Gracie black belt or no, he’s no match for a guy like Jones who has excelled at the highest levels of grappling competition.

I guess the same could be said about this matchup between former UFC welterweight contender Jake Ellenberger and Ben Egli (who stepped in to replace Condit).

Even though he’s retired from fighting, I bet Ellenberger would probably still be favored to beat Egli in an MMA bout. At SUG though? It was Egli’s day.

JM: Honestly, Ellenberger did really well. I know he has a grappling background but I guess I forgot about it because much of his MMA career hinged on him being one of the biggest shot-for-shot punchers in the division. Egli got him eventually, but I left more impressed with Jake than I have been in some time.

AL: As impressive as those two subs were, the best of the night may have belonged to Matt Stringham.

Look at that squeeze. Stringham wanted to take Joe Levasseur’s head home there.

JM: Standing guillotines always look so incredibly painful. I understand that the submission is not pain, but still, that looked like it sucked.

AL: And then we have the curious case of Jake Smith vs. Gorge Martinez.

JM: That may be the slowest cartwheel guard pass I’ve ever seen. And it damn near worked!

AL: This is a fun pass by Smith and he would go on to win by having the fastest escape time in OT. But neither the move nor the result are the story here.

According to Smith, Martinez farted during the match. Twice.

The deadliest technique.

JM: Chemical warfare may be frowned upon in geopolitics, but nothing wrong with a little skullduggery in grappling.

True story, I wrestled in high school with a kid who refused to shower for like a week before meets. He thought it gave him a leg up on the competition. No one liked him very much.

Zusje vs. Linkimaster
Don Kasjo vs. Maciek Rataj
Wojciech Gola vs. Rafonix
Bestia vs. Marcin Najman

AL: Normally, Poland’s Fame MMA, the self-proclaimed “Gala Freak Fight,” would lead off any edition of Missed Fists. After all, who can forget the magic of, er, Mini Majik vs. Lord Kruszwil from last November.

Fame MMA 6 didn’t quite have that same cachet, though I suppose that’s a relative term given the promotion’s usual bats*it craziness. Readers can watch the show for themselves on famemm.tv for a little less than $5.

It’s worth it just for the FIRE entrance of one Kamila Smogulecka a.k.a. Zusje.

JM: Okay, let’s stop right here. Because how this isn’t a viral meme yet is beyond me. Now please, continue.

AL: For those who don’t know, Fame MMA cards are comprised of Polish celebrities, athletes, rappers, models, and Instagram influencers getting their chance to throw down in the cage. So Zusje here isn’t exactly a seasoned MMA vet. That said, if I didn’t know anything about this show and why it exists, I’d think she could take out Amanda Nunes based on that performance alone.

Here’s the hype video for the Fame MMA main event:

JM: This woman right here, she knows how to get the people going. I’m 100 percent all in on this entrance. I love everything about it.

AL: I should have tempered my expectations because Zusje was going up against Marta “Linkimaster” Linkiewicz, who was making her third appearance for Fame MMA. More importantly, Linkimaster has 1.1 million Instagram followers to Zusje’s 368,000.

Linkimaster busted Zusje up good and won a unanimous decision after three two-minute rounds.

JM: Gotta respect the referee wearing a mask for preventing the spread of coronavirus in the middle of an MMA event. That’s like putting on a raincoat to go swimming.

AL: Up next, let’s look at Kasjusz Zycinski a.k.a. Don Kasjo vs. Maciek Rataj.

Cue Yakety Sax.

JM: This man clearly trained at the Kalib Starnes/Israel Adesanya school of MMA. That’s right, I went there.

AL: Too soon!

And then we have Wojciech Gola vs. Marcin Krasucki a.k.a. Rafonix.

Cue Yakety Sax again!:

I make fun, but Gola did get the finish, so who am I to question his effectiveness?

Also, way to be on the ball here, ref. That’s a man with over 385,000 Instagram followers that you’re letting get pummeled. Now, Gola does have over 625,000 followers, so perhaps this fight was over before it started.

JM: The old slip-n-slide MMA game strikes again. But do you see what it led to?!?! That’s why slip-n-slide MMA is the future, I’ve been trying to tell you.

AL: No can defend.

JM: Hilarity and violence all in one package. That’s all you can ask for.

AL: Piotr Piechowiak a.k.a. Bestia is a bodybuilder trying MMA. Did he got lost on his way to a KSW show? He’s got some bop!

JM: Just to be clear: I think I’m coming around to the idea that FAME may be the best MMA promotion. They’re certainly the most honest about what they are presenting as entertainment.

AL: And that’s what our readers value most: honesty.

K-Jee vs. Hisaki Kato
Toma vs. Namito Izawa
Hinata Matsumoto vs. Kazuma Takuda
Mao Hashimoto vs. Yuki Toyota

For readers in need of a palette cleanser because you want “real competition” (eye roll), K-1 is still marching through the COVID-covered wasteland, come hell or high water.

Krush 112 in Tokyo was headlined by a rematch between K-Jee and Hisaki Kato. Kato defeated K-Jee by TKO in their first meeting last December. This time around, it was all K-Jee.

There’s no getting up from that body shot.

JM: Off. Right on the liver. That may not look like a haymaker but as a man who has been rendered helpless by a liver shot before, let me tell you it’s like a haymaker to your balls, if your balls were in your stomach.

AL: Technically, Toma won by the three-knockdown rule, but this is really a KO by any other name. He blasts right through Namito Izawa’s defenses and the referee could have waved this one off much sooner.

This finish by Hinata Matsumoto tells a similar story.

Once the ref saw Kazuma Takuda throw that jumping spin kick that didn’t even come close to connecting, he should have called it right there.

JM: That jumping spin kick was the last act of a desperate man. Respect to him for going out on his shield but that was even worse than Chael’s spinning back fist attempt.

Now let’s end things with a bit of proper banging.

AL: Talk about ending this week’s feature on a high note. That’s 20-year-old Mao Hashimoto absolutely annihilating Yuki Toyota with a left hand.

Sigh. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

JM: And go down even faster.

AL: And for anyone seeking more free action during quarantine time, Sparta Sports and Entertainment is offering full replays of recent Sparta Combat League tournaments over on their Facebook page.

These tournaments use a unique format where the first round is boxing, the second round is kickboxing, and the finals are MMA. Why have more promotions not done something like this?

Poll

What was the most memorable Missed Fists moment this week?

This poll is closed

  • 21%
    Craig Jones’s heel hook
    (27 votes)
  • 7%
    Jake Smith vs. "Gaseous" Gorge Martinez
    (10 votes)
  • 32%
    Zusje makes an entrance
    (42 votes)
  • 17%
    K-Jee destroys Hisaki Kato’s innards
    (22 votes)
  • 15%
    Mao Hashimoto drops the left hand hammer
    (20 votes)
  • 5%
    Other (leave comment below)
    (7 votes)
128 votes total Vote Now

If you know of a recent fight or event that you think may have been overlooked, or a promotion that could use some attention, please let us know on Twitter – @JedKMeshew and @AlexanderKLee – using the hashtag #MissedFists.