What's Next for Kimbo Slice?

The UFC party is over for Kimbo Slice. At least, that's what Dana White says.

After the former internet brawler suffered a one-sided shellacking at the hands of Matt Mitrione at UFC 113, the UFC president insisted it was time to bring this little experiment to a close. It's the right call. When you can't beat an opponent who's 1-0, or even make the fight seem all that competitive, the top organization in the sport probably isn't the place for you.

Slice's drawing power, his appeal among casual fans, the extent to which his beard is now considered a national treasure – it still seems like maybe the cash cow has future options beyond the slaughterhouse. With his charisma and name recognition, he can do a lot of things. It's just that, as we saw this weekend, fighting high-level opponents isn't one of them.

But Slice's star-power is such that his image won't be irreparably harmed by his last act in the Octagon any more than it was destroyed by his embarrassing knockout loss to Seth Petruzelli in EliteXC. Face it, if you're still a Slice fan at this point, it's got very little to do with his actual fighting ability.

So now that his UFC run appears to be over, how and where will Slice get his bread next? Here are five options worth considering:

1) New Life in the "City of Japan"
Slice seemed to really enjoy the town of the rising sun during his guest commentating gig at K-1 back in 2008, and judging by the way Japanese fans have responded in the past to fighters who are more personality than skill, there could very well be a place for him across the Pacific. Facing off against opponents dressed as cartoon characters may not be the best thing for one's dignity, but at least it's a paying gig. Plus, the competition is easier and you don't necessarily have to win in order to get invited back. Just ask Bob Sapp.

2) Give Boxing a Try
As long as the UFC is embracing one of boxing's former heroes in James Toney, it seems only fair that the boxing world accept one of our washouts in trade. For all Slice's talk about how much he loves to stand and bang, the sport that consists of nothing else would seem like a natural fit. No ground game to trouble himself with. No pesky leg kicks like the ones Mitrione battered him with. Just pure and simple fisticuffs like the backyard days, only with gloves this time. It's a possibility Slice explored before getting his shot in the UFC, and with the right promoter (and handpicked opponents) he could easily capitalize on fans' curiosity, at least for a little while.

3) Big Fish in the Small Circuit
Say Slice isn't ready to give up on MMA just yet, and say he also abhors jet lag. That knocks out the first two options, but if he's willing to take a bit of a pay cut he can still hang around in smaller regional promotions closer to home. Slice's celebrity in his home state of Florida is great enough that he could main event a local promotion against an opponent who might be more his speed. He could also return to being the most famous man on every fight card, for what that's worth.

4) Anyone Know If Strikeforce Is Hiring?
Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker isn't exactly jumping at the chance to sign Slice just yet, and it's easy to see why. Picking up the UFC's castoffs makes his organization seem like distant number two on the MMA landscape, and it's hard to imagine Slice faring any better against Andrei Arlovski or even Bobby Lashley than he did against Mitrione. That said, if the price was right Strikeforce might consider giving him a trial run on a Showtime undercard. But I wouldn't count on it.

5) There's Always Reality TV...
What do you do when you're more famous than you are talented? You turn to the third act of American life: reality television. Slice isn't a big enough name to host "Kimbo of Love" just yet, but he might make a decent addition to a new VH1 show that dumps a cadre of D-list celebrities into a life raft with limited resources somewhere in the middle of the South Pacific. You might say that you wouldn't watch it, but deep down you know that you're dying to find out what happens when celebrities stop being polite and start having hallucinations brought on by dehydration and sunstroke.
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