By saying a ton happened this weekend, I'd be doing a complete disservice to one of the busiest fight weekends in recent memory. So instead let's just sit down and sort this out like adults. Of course, the only way to do that is to hand out some sparkly awards for the winners and losers of what became an incredibly chaotic 72 hours.
Winner: Brazil - If there was ever any doubt about the fight capital of the world, that debate was decisively put to bed on Saturday night. From the absurd waiting lines, the expletive filled chants, and an arena that was rocking from the opening prelim to the main event, Brazilian fans showed the rest of the fight world how it's done at UFC 147.
For their efforts, Brazil is sure to receive the lion's share of shows in the coming years, and in the short term, could potentially be rewarded with Junior dos Santos' next title defense. Following UFC 147, dos Santos' rematch against Cain Velasquez was abruptly uprooted from UFC 152, leaving the recently announced October show in Rio de Janeiro as the most deliciously logical option. JDS vs. Cain II, with Saturday night's insane atmosphere? Yes, please.
Loser: Dana White - Two events in two days was always going to be a daunting task for the UFC President, and unfortunately, things didn't really work out like he'd hoped. First, Clay Guida strolled into Friday night with one of the most frustrating gameplans in the history of the sport. Not one to sit idly by, White let his displeasure be known through his Twitter feed, which promptly became a fascinating stream of consciousness from someone watching potential revenue dollars slipping through his fingers. Really, White's words afterward said it all: "That's not a fight."
But then, 24 hours and one long plane flight later, White's ire was raised once more by the theatrically lethargic performance of one of TUF Brazil's burgeoning stars, Rony "Jason" Mariano. Just read this quote from Dana and tell me it doesn't sound like a man seconds away from erupting.
"I didn't like it at all. ... These guys were running around signing autographs all day. I think they got a little caught up in the hype. Guess what? You're not in the UFC yet. Come out and perform. If you look at The Ultimate Fighter in the U.S. every season, usually the finale is the best fight of the season. These guys come out and they go for it. I think because the arena was packed and these guys felt like rockstars all week, they were coming out singing and dancing and s--- like they already had world titles."
Something tells me White might want to take a day or two off before some bumbling intern ends up hospitalized with third-degree coffee burns.
Winner: Exiled Former Zuffa Title Contenders - Amid all this weekend's ruckus, it was easy to miss a pair of resounding revivals from two of the more notorious Zuffa exiles. Former Strikeforce heavyweight Brett Rogers got back on track in style, tossing poor Kevin Asplund around like a rag doll for two rounds in his Bellator debut, and former UFC contender Renato "Babalu" Sobral laughed in the face of ring rust, nearly shattering Tatsuya Mizuno's arm in just 30 seconds at ONE FC: Destiny of the Warriors. For both men, it was their first win since 2010, and just maybe, a sign of greater things to come.
Loser: Soccer Kicks - Let me preface this by saying, I'm an unapologetic Pride enthusiast. I can't help it, but at least I can admit it. So, I love soccer kicks as much as the next guy.
That being said, Zorobabel Moreira‘s ultra-violent soccer kick KO of Roger Huerta was tough to watch. Just bloodlust for the sake of bloodlust. But the blame for this one doesn't fall on Moreira or the ONE FC ruleset. It falls on referee Yuji Shimada, who blatantly allowed that fight to reach a place it never should have reached. Like Joe Warren before him, Huerta was out on his feet well before Moreira turned into Joe Pesci from Casino.
Even still, one bad decision doesn't mean we need to embark on a witch hunt to get soccer kicks banned from the sport.
Winner: Gray Maynard's Public Image - "The Bully" may not have been the most popular man entering Friday night, but that all changed during his fateful fourth round against Clay Guida, when Maynard, utterly disgusted with Guida's running man tactics, evoked his inner Nick Diaz, flipped the double birds to the world, and jutted his chin out, just daring Clay to hit him. Suddenly the worst fight in recent memory was fantastic, as we watched Maynard eat a few shots, sprawl to defend a takedown, and nearly seize what would have been the single greatest submission finish in the history of the UFC.
Alas, it was not to be. But seriously, how great would it've been if Maynard got the tap right there?
Loser: Clay Guida/Greg Jackson's Public Image - Aside from Carlos Condit, it's hard to think of another fighter whose public image took a bigger hit in one fight than Clay Guida on Friday night. "The Carpenter" entered to a shower of adoration, a perennial fan favorite, and left the subject of scorn and ridicule from not only fans, but his fellow fighters as well.
It was an utterly bizarre performance, and one that left everyone from Daniel Cormier to Dana White taking shots at Guida's polarizing trainer, Greg Jackson, for putting together another unpopular gameplan.
Winner: Fabricio Werdum - If we're being honest, Fabricio Werdum did what he was supposed to do. That being said, Russow is a gamer, and snapping an eleven-fight win streak is nothing to scoff at.
Werdum's last four wins have now come over "Bigfoot" Silva, Fedor Emelianenko, Roy Nelson, and Russow -- with an anemic loss to Alistair Overeem squeezed in there -- and in the top-heavy heavyweight division, there's really no reason to believe the Brazilian isn't a fight away from his coveted rematch against Junior dos Santos. Who he gets matched-up against next is up to Joe Silva, but it's clear Werdum deserves a top-5 guy. Shane Carwin or Frank Mir, perhaps? Or, even more ideally, a fight against Daniel Cormier, with the winner getting the next title shot? Tell me you wouldn't love to see that.
Loser: M-1 Global - Not only did M-1 Global lose their top (and only) draw to retirement late last week, they also became the unfortunate victims of some hilarious cyber tomfoolery. Any unsuspecting M-1 fan who logged onto the promotion's website early Sunday morning was greeted by a headline that read:
Fedor Emelianenko signs 3-fight deal with UFC, debut against Brock Lesnar.
MMA icon Fedor Emelianenko, who earned his third victory in a row recently, has signed a 3-fight deal with MMA juggernaut Ultimate Fighting Championships.
Obviously, it was all a hoax. But hey, at least it got people talking about M-1 for a second.
5 MUST-READ STORIES
UFC 147. Rich Franklin powered through a second-round scare to hand Wanderlei Silva another narrow decision loss at UFC 147. For more on the event, check out complete results, bonuses, reaction from the pros, plus video highlights of Rich Franklin vs. Wanderlei Silva and Fabricio Werdum vs. Mike Russow.
UFC on FX 4. Gray Maynard earned a bizarre split decision victory over Clay Guida in the headlining bout of UFC on FX 4. You know how this goes by now, so if you missed anything, rewind with event results, bonuses, reaction from the pros, along with video highlights of Gray Maynard vs. Clay Guida and Cub Swanson's $50,000 knockout.
Dana White not happy. Dana White voiced his displeasure with Clay Guida's baffling gameplan on Friday night. Guida maintained he was happy with his work, however White's ire was redrawn the very next night, when the UFC President was unimpressed by Rony Mariano's public theatrics and lethargic performance in the TUF Brazil finals.
M-1 Global website hacked. Fans who logged onto M-1 Global's official website early Sunday morning were greeted with a story proclaiming Fedor Emelianenko to have inked a three-fight deal with the UFC, starting with an all-star battle against Brock Lesnar. M-1 Global officials later revealed the story to be a hoax.
It's been awhile, but Dana's good ol' video blogs are back. This time we get to see all the behind-the-scenes footage of UFC on FX 4, from Bruce Buffer being referred to as "The Buff," and Nick Catone's axe wound of a cut, to Brian Ebersole offering T.J. Waldburger a job right after breaking him, and Clay Guida and Gray Maynard exchanging some unpleasant words backstage.
I had a great two-for-one lined up for you guys here -- Roger Huerta and Babalu Sobral's fights from ONE FC: Destiny of the Warriors -- but the video got taken down at the last second. So instead, check out Brett Rogers making mincemeat of Kevin Asplund in his Bellator debut.
How popular is mixed martial arts in Brazil? Just look at the ridiculous Disney Land x1000 line that amassed outside of the Estádio Jornalista Felipe Drumond in Belo Horizonte for UFC 147.
There were 22 fighters on the UFC 147 fight card. 20 of them were Brazilian. This is what happens when you're not one of those 20. (Props to Guilherme Arantes for the video.)
HOW TO UPSET YOUR BOSS 101
I thought it was impossible for this fight to suck. I WAS WRONG!!!!!!— Dana White (@danawhite) June 23, 2012
First time I have ever seen Guida get boo'd out of the building. I am booing too!!— Dana White (@danawhite) June 23, 2012
Ref took a point from Guida for running! This is like the twilight zone!!!! Never thought I would see that— Dana White (@danawhite) June 23, 2012
Maynard won that easy!!!! Wasn't that close. HORRIBLE fight!— Dana White (@danawhite) June 23, 2012
HOW TO UPSET YOUR COWORKERS 101
Wtf is going on here— Daniel Cormier (@dc_mma) June 23, 2012
I think the UFC should shave Clay Guida's head as punishment for his performance tonight! RT if you agree!— Siyar Bahadurzada (@SiyarTheGreat) June 23, 2012
If there were yellow cards in UFC like they used to have in PRIDE, Clay Guida would be paying to fight by now.— Vinny Magalhaes (@VinnyMMA) June 23, 2012
That was the right decision. Greg Jackson's gameplans are going to kill this sport.— Dan Hardy (@danhardymma) June 23, 2012
They should take points for holding guys down and running! Let's make fights exciting not boring @ufc— Leonard Garcia (@badboygarcia) June 23, 2012
BUNCH OF JOKESTERS OVER HERE
I feel like Lloyd Christmas wore those trunks under his bright orange suit.— Pat Schilling (@PatSchilling) June 24, 2012
I get the whole Jim Carey thing w/ Franklin, wow does he look like Lloyd from Dumb & Dumber right now— Brian Stann (@BrianStann) June 24, 2012
So you're telling me there's a chance? twitpic.com/9zv9wq— Miguel Angel Torres (@MiguelTorresMMA) June 24, 2012
Nice that Rich Franklin went with the lloyd christmas cut tonight #UFC147— Patrick Healy (@BamBamHealy) June 24, 2012
Lloyd Christmas has anoying money to buy his worm farm now lol.— Erik Jon Koch (@NEWBREED04) June 24, 2012
They didn't actually need cameras in the locker room because this is all part of the Truman Show.— Pat Schilling (@PatSchilling) June 24, 2012
FROM BIG COUNTRY TO MEDIUM COUNTRY
Announced over the weekend (Friday, June 22, 2012 - Sunday, June 24, 2012):
UFC 152: Junior dos Santos (15-1) vs. Cain Velasquez (10-1) likely postponed
FANPOST OF THE DAY
Today's Fanpost of the Day comes from SSreporters, who shares an unfortunate bit of news: Poopstorm Coming: GIF Master Zombie Prophet Gets Letter From UFC
The UFC has once again "stepped up their game" as far as stomping on evil internet people. As you all know, the GIFs you see on this site and thousands of other MMA-related blogs are supplied by a man who calls himself Zombie Prophet. All of his GIFs can be found on Iron Forges Iron ... except the ones from last night. Why? Because Dana White sicked his dogs to go after ZP for copyright infringement. This is the e-mail word for word (which he posted on Pastebin):
Found something perfect for the Morning Report? Just hit me on Twitter @shaunalshatti and we'll include it in tomorrow's post.