On paper, it seems obvious what Ben Saunders did.
To onlookers, it seemed like Saunders let his UFC contract expire to cash in on the free-agent market, a growing trend in MMA. His fight against Patrick Cote back in January was the last on his UFC deal and a big win there could have raised his stock.
Except the public perception was completely off the mark. Saunders wasn't thinking of free agency — he was contemplating retirement.
"It makes sense why people would assume that," Saunders told MMA Fighting. "But no, man. I had sh*t going on. My management came at me saying that UFC sent over a contract, and I was gonna retire. I wasn't interested. I didn't care how much it was for. It could have been $100,000 and $100,000 and I didn't even f*cking know."
Saunders, 33, came into the Cote fight riding a three-fight winning streak in the UFC. He has made a name for himself over the years as a crowd favorite, an action fighter. Cote ended up beating him by second-round TKO in Boston.
With his UFC contract done, Saunders said he had concerns elsewhere. There were family issues and other personal things to attend to. His grandparents both died around the same time. Saunders would prefer not to go into detail about all the things on his plate, but he felt like he needed some time before thinking about MMA again.
"It sucks that I'm so vague about everything that was going on, because it makes it really hard for people to understand my point of view," Saunders said. "But out of respect for the certain people that are involved in the situation that weren't a part of the negative parts, I can't get into it. All I can say is that it had nothing to do with the UFC, it had nothing to do with money."
With everything cleared up behind the scenes, Saunders will enter the cage once again Friday night. "Killa B" will take on fellow UFC veteran Jacob Volkmann at Fight Night At The Island in Welch, Minn. It's a pretty significant main event for a regional show, considering either one of the featured athletes could easily be in the UFC right now.
Volkmann, 36, recently won two straight in Legacy FC and has had solid success since being cut from the UFC in 2013. With a 6-4 record in the UFC, "Christmas" was likely let go more for his wrestling-heavy fighting style than body of work.
The winner of the bout could get the call up back to the big show at any moment. Saunders is banking on that being the case.
"We know he's got better wrestling or at least better wrestling credentials," Saunders said. "And I know he's as strong as an ox. He's got that gorilla strength that's deceiving. But my long limbs, my flexibility, my dexterity and my ground game is where the big question mark lies. Even if he does get the takedown, I say game on, on. Game on. It's gonna be a f*cking show, that's for sure."
The thoughts of retirement came up for Saunders even before the Cote loss. His initial plan was to get on the UFC on FOX 17 card in his hometown of Orlando back in December, but it didn't work out. Saunders wanted to get an exciting win there, retire and use the local coverage to propel the marketing of a new gym.
"If everything is gonna go sideways for me, maybe I can just do my last fight, we'll do it local in Orlando," Saunders said. "I'll go out there f*cking guns blazing and then try to open my own gym and self promote that and have mother f*ckers come out. I felt that might be the best way to open the gym, is merk someone in my hometown on the biggest stage."
Saunders couldn't get on the card there, then lost to Cote a month later. He had a chance to come back at UFC 202 against Tim Means when Means' original opponent Sean Strickland got injured, but Saunders needs to be back in the USADA drug-testing pool for four months before coming back to the UFC. That rule now goes for any athlete who leaves the USADA drug-testing pool and attempts to come back in.
"I love the UFC," Saunders said. "I love fighting for them. To be honest, USADA is one of the biggest reasons I want to fight for them, because I've been clean my entire f*cking career and I love the idea of all this experience I have is going to pay dividends now after all this time taking care of myself.
"I always wanted to compete at the highest level. Obviously, the UFC is that and I would love to fight for them. If i go out and I put on a great performance and they're interested, then yeah. That's where I'd prefer to predominantly like to be."
Saunders (19-7-2) won't rule out other organizations, either. If Bellator or World Series of Fighting or anyone else calls, he'll listen. He had a good run in Bellator previously, from 2011 to 2013.
The goal now is to just beat Volkmann and erase that performance he isn't happy about versus Cote. The personal issues are in the rear-view mirror.
"I kind of lost focus," Saunders said. "Things were just kind of all over the place. It was kind of hard to maintain that drive and maintain thinking about merking someone in the damn cage at the time. I was contemplating a lot of things and I just had a lot on my plate. Unfortunately, it took a little time to get everything organized and get things back in order."