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Why 2013 Kicked this MMA Fan's @ss Part 7C: July: He took it for granted... Act III - The Climax

To those who care: Part 7B can be found here:

Why 2013 Kicked this MMA Fan's @ss Part 7B: July: He took it for granted... Act II - The Buildup

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This beautiful Saturday marks the first day of our summer vacation and what better way to kick things off with good friends, good fights and a couple of party favors.

Afternoon turns into evening and the troops are fed, everyone has their drink and the pay per view begins.

RESULT

What started out as a festival of quick knockouts became a plethora of technical decisions and we lose the wife and some of the girlfriends during the Mark Munoz vs Tim Boetsch fight.

She tells me to call her back when Ain't no sunshine starts.

Tim Kennedy defeats Mega-Gracie and Frankie Edgar does his best Darryl Dixon impression and dispatches the Brazlian Zombie. The Main Event is about to begin.

Chris Weidman has made his way to the Octagon and has settled in his corner.

The lights go dim, DMX comes on.

Anderson makes his way to the ring sporting his new "Anderson Knows" shirt.

"Babe! It's about to start! And may I have a refill please!"

She brings the bottle of Sailor Jerry, refills my glass and sits by my side.

Bruce Buffer does the introductions and...

Here we go! (Je ne ressens que du mépris pour toi, Goldberg!)

Shot of Jon Jones and Uriah Faber in the crowd.

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The fight begins, they circle.

Weidman takes a page out of Sonnen's book and takes Silva down.

We are on the edge of our seat.

Weidman is dropping elbows and right hands - not the pillow kind. Out of nowhere, the challenger then channels his inner Rousimar Palhares and nearly gets a heel hook.

"Break it!" screams Ray Luongo,

No one is saying a word. Will this be a carbon copy of UFC 117 and, if so, will Silva manage to come out on top this time?

Anderson escapes and we are back to our feet.

I can feel the wife squeezing my hand.

Now the fight is looking more like Anderson versus Bonnar. That being said, unlike the American Psycho, Weidman isn't constantly missing the target when he counterattacks.

Anderson turns up the taunting to an exponential level.

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He invites Weidman to: trade blows with him in the center of the octagon, to kick his legs, to engage.

He counters each failed attempt from the challenger with hard legs kicks, head kicks and combos.

The round ends with a big punch from Weidman that connects right to the jaw.

The fighters smile, hug and congratulate each other.

To the great amusement of myself and Joe Rogan, Andy kisses Chris on the cheek and returns to his corner.

The Spider then turns around and screams: "Come on, man!" at the challenger from the other end of the Octagon, imploring Chris to fight (which I found ironic, considering this round was clearly 10-9 for Weidman).

The crowd goes wild.

In between rounds, Ray Luongo does his best Mickey Goldmill impression:

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"Beautiful!

How do ya feel? Now ya got this!
He wants to sit there and take it, you give it to him!
You trained your ass off for this fight.
I want you to punch a hole in his fucking chest. That's what I want.
Everything else is good, don't get careless. You're looking good."

At the time, the advice reminded me of something out of Mike Tyson's Punch out:

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Anderson Silva looks annoyed.

The first fight of his 10 fight deal is turning out to be more than a mere formality: The accountant can fight.

His corner is urging him to "Calm down".

I'm telling the wife (and myself) the same thing.

Both corners are called for Round 2.

Anderson is theatrically pleading Weidman to "do something".

They double high-five and the dance continues.

"Chris, straight down the middle, to his chest!"

Anderson is really exaggerating the theatrics now, going as far as carelessly feigning "rubber legs", dropping his hands to his toes, laughing and doing weird dance moves.

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The wife let's go of my hand.

"I don't like this." He's being really disrespectful"

I'm rationalizing with her now: "No, he always does that, that's the way he fights",

But deep down, I know he's never gone this far, not even during the Maia fight.

Anderson's corner is imploring him: "Be serious! Be serious!"

Weidman's takedown attempt is stuffed.

A big, mouthpiece revealing, Cheshire Cat-like smile appears on the champ's face.

Between peppering the challenger with hard leg kicks, the Spider is starting to play with his prey like a domestic cat.

The champ's corner disapproves: "Anderson hurt him! Anderson I'm serious now!"

He ducks a punch and invites Weidman to throw another one.

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"Fight serious Anderson"

This time, Weidman lands a hard left hook.

Anderson once again does the "rubber legs" and pretends to be hurt.

This time, he receives another hard left hook to the face as he regains his composure. Weidman continues the combo and then...

Just like the retarded kid riding his bike and waving to his friends: "Look guys! No hands..."

What was supposed to go down like this:

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Ended up like that:

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My eyes could not believe what was going on.

I remember thinking: "He's faking, he's luring him into a jiu-jitsu battle!"

6 vengeful punches from half mount (six too many as Andy was already KTFO on his way down) put an end to that theory.

As Anderson was getting pummeled, I went through the 5 stages of grief:

I. Punches 1 and 2: Denial

He's OK... He's OK... He'll pull guard

II. Punches 3-4: Anger

Are you fucking kidding me?

III. Punches 5: Bargaining

Come on Andy, if you get up now, I promise I'll try to tone down the Goldberg hate.

IV. Punch 6: Depression

How could this happen... How could this happen.

V. Anderson attempts a single leg on Herb Dean: Acceptance

It's over. Fuck you Goldberg.


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A very pumped and angry Weidman celebrates

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and takes the time to disingenuously asks Anderson if he'd like a hand getting up.

The wife says: "He deserves that, I don't like him anymore."

I remember thinking: "Good for you, kid. I would have done the same thing."

There's a shot of Jon Jones in the crowd.

He looks like he just saw Mufasa get hit by a car.

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Weidman would go on to tell Anderson right before the official decision:

"You were playing around, you got too cocky."

As some of my friends are basking in Schadenfreude and others in disbelief, the casual MMA fans I had over don't quite know what to make out of what they just saw.

Me? I'm shell-shocked and apoplectic on the inside.

"Great, just great. This just fuels every fucking hater..."

I mean, I buy the baiting to a point. This was definitely not all that.

This was arrogance, hubris and a lack of respect.

God damn fuck, not only does this ruin everything (Longest winning streak, most title defenses, superfight versus Jon Jones, superfight versus GSP...), it also takes away from Weidman's victory.

The new champ is like the ugly girl that wins the Prom Queen title, but doesn't get that the thing was rigged to boost her self-esteem.

In the post-fight interview, Weidman tells Rogan he: "hates being teased and wanted to make him pay".

Anderson tells Rogan: "That's it. I finished my working. I no fight more for the belt. I have the belt for a long time. I tired. I helax now, I back for my family. Chris is the new champion. My legacy for the belt is finished."

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I need another drink.

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***

That does it for July's Act III. Thank you for reading. Coming up next (Il m'énerve, Ostie qu'il m'énerve le Tabarnac!):Why 2013 Kicked this MMA Fan's @ss Part 7D: July: He took it for granted... Act IV - The Dénouement.