Morning Report: Ronda Rousey blasts Bryan Caraway, says he has too much control over ‘weak’ Miesha Tate

Esther Lin, MMA Fighting

You don't need me to tell you that Ronda Rousey and Miesha Tate aren't the best of friends. But during Tuesday's FOX Sports Google Hangout, a fan asked Rousey what exactly it was about Tate that really made Rousey despise her, and to the surprise of no one, it didn't take long for Tate's boyfriend, Bryan Caraway, to get dragged into the conversation.

"I don't think [Tate] really has terrible juju, but her boyfriend has terrible juju," Rousey explained.

"I think what bothers me most about her is she's kind of a very weak, suggestible and malleable person. Whoever she's around, you can tell. I really believe you're the average of the five people you hang around the most, and I think that Cara-douche takes up her top-five. Like, all of her top-five. It's just, it's not healthy. It's not. He's her coach, he's her manager, he's her boyfriend. There's a lot of control that that guy has over her life, and I think that her lack of individualism and her complete dependence on him is what really irks about her the most. She's a strong woman, she should act like it."

With that rant out of the way, Rousey moved on, continuing to field questions from fans until being asked if she'd prefer to fight Caraway instead of Tate.

"I'd have been down," Rousey replied, before picking up another full head of steam.

"God, that guy's a douche. Just everyone. No one likes him. Have you ever heard anyone like, ‘Oh, I love that Caraway chap?' No, it never happens. It's just bad juju. You could just see, he's got, like, this film of douche on him. There's just nothing, there's nothing you like. Maybe the people at Bosley Hair Restoration like him."

But oh no, that's not the end of the quote, folks. From there Rousey's answer continued down a long and winding road in which she revealed a peculiar rhyming nickname she gave to Caraway, then went on to joke about Caraway's braces and his ability, or lack thereof, to perform a certain sexual act on Tate, and a certain reason Tate might be cranky because of it. I'm not going to spell it out for you, but it's all in there.

But anyway, since we like to keep it classy here on the Morning Report -- don't laugh at that -- it's probably best if we just jump right into some headlines before this escalates any further.

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6 MUST-READ STORIES

Aldo hospitalized. UFC featherweight champion Jose Aldo was hospitalized in Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro on Tuesday due to kidney stones. "He had renal calculus (kidney stones) before," commented UFC Brazil doctor Marcio Tannure. Fun fact, dehydration is one of the primary causes of kidney stones. *Cough, excess weight cutting, cough*

ONE FC eyeing major overhaul for 2013, 2014. ONE FC came out of the gates slow in 2013, but Asia's biggest promotion is about to roll into the new year with a bang.

UFC 163 medical suspensions. Chan Sung Jung, Phil Davis, Ian McCall and Amanda Nunes all received 180-day medical suspensions from the Brazilian MMA Commission due to injuries sustained during last weekend's UFC 163 event.

Palhares to 170. According to a report from Ariel Helwani on UFC Tonight, Rousimar Palhares has officially decided to cut down to welterweight. The 5-foot-8 Palhares expects to make his 170-pound debut "later this year."

Cruz update. During a chance encounter at UFC 163, Dominick Cruz told Renan Barao he expects to return to fighting in February. "I was really happy to hear that," Barao said. "I hope he can return so we can finally fight."

Chonan announces retirement. Longtime MMA veteran Ryo Chonan announced his intention to retire on October 20th following his final bout at DEEP: Tribe Tokyo Fight. Chonan hangs his gloves up with a lifetime 21-13 record, including a legendary flying scissor heel hook victory over Anderson Silva.

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MEDIA STEW

On the day Ryo Chonan announces his retirement, it's almost mandatory I post this. Seen it 100 times and it still amazes me.

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Today's homework assignment: Knowing full well the outcome, mute this puppy and watch with a careful eye. Score a winner in the comments. I'm curious to hear your feedback.

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I tell ya what, Brazil's starting to give Russia a run for its money with these cheesy MMA commercials.

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Is this the first documented case of victory by TKO (barf)? Because if not, I need an influx of these videos in my life.

(HT: MiddleEasy)

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This is only vaguely related, but guys, it's a so-bad-it's-good live action Street Fighter. How could I not include it?

Huge props to Mark Serrels/Kotaku for the find.

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BRAVERY

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A DANGEROUS MINDSET

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CLARIFYING

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NOTE TO ALL BOSTONIANS

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ANSWER THE MAN

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THE CEO OF CAGE WARRIORS EXPLAINS THE PAUL DALEY SITUATION

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FIGHT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Announced yesterday (Tuesday, August 6, 2013):

  • UFC Fight Night 29: Melvin Guillard (31-12-2) vs. Ross Pearson (15-6) set for co-main event
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    FANPOST OF THE DAY

    Today's Fanpost of the Day comes to us from Yan117, who embarked on a quest to discover: The Ultimate Streak Busters

    The question:

    Who are the best streak busters in the UFC today? Which fighters most consistently fought and defeated opponents coming off a series of victories?

    Foreword:

    Although the results of this approach can shed a unique albeit specific light for any interested mma fan, it does not in any case intent to offer any definitive answer about the comparative quality of opposition that each of the chosen subjects have faced. For that, a much more sophisticated method is required. All that is offered here is raw data and a quick and easy way to process it. The procedure may be simplistic or ill advised but it's application was objectively applied to all subjects with the exception of the Jon Jones vs Matt Hamil fight: for the purpose of this statistical rundown, Jon Jones won that fight and the scoring is applied accordingly.

    The subjects:

    I elected to look at the consensus top 10 pound for pound fighters in order to evaluate their history of breaking opponents winning streaks. Those are Jon Jones, Georges St-Pierre, Anderson Silva, Jose Aldo, Chris Weidman, Benson Henderson, Junior dos Santos, Cain Velasquez, Demetrious Johnson, and Renan Barao. I figured that P4P bests were most likely perfect candidates in a contest of streak busting.

    The methodology:

    I chose to examine the fighters last 10 fights when possible. When not, a maximum number of their most recent fights. ... In order for younger fighters not to be penalized in the scoring, all final scores are tallied on an per fight average.

    The scoring:

    I wanted the formula to be as simple as possible for I didn't want to make a doctorate out of the exercise and spend hours running the numbers. Simplicity is beautiful and it goes like this:

    0 point for a loss.

    0 point for a draw.

    1 point for the win itself.

    1 additional point per number of win in the defeated opponent's winning streak.

    Click here to see the results!

    Found something you'd like to see in the Morning Report? Just hit me on Twitter @shaunalshatti and we'll include it in tomorrow's column.

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